A Polish man moved from Poland to the US and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: Have you any grounds?
The Polish man said: Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.
Said the lawyer: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It is made of concrete.
Lawyer: I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.
Lawyer: I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.
Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have a hi-fidelity stereo and a good DVD player.
Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?
No, I am always up before her.
Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?
No, she’s white.
Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?
She is going to kill me.
Lawyer: A What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She is going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says: Polish Remover.