Lawyer and Bible

A lawyer, laying on his death bed in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the Bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea, so she ran and got it.

As soon as she returned with the Bible, the lawyer snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting left and right. Curious, his wife asked, “What are you doing, honey?”

“I’m looking for loopholes!” he shouted.


Cricket: Lessons of Life

 World T20 Cricket Match of India vs Bangladesh, Wednesday, 23 March, 2016, that freaking last over was a neat set of life lessons. Here is how:

Bangladesh needs 12 runs in last over. Over a billion people are on edge with their asses on cusp of dispair or joy.

  1. Pandya goes for 2 fours in first 3 balls: At this point game is over for India. But Pandya still keeps his head to ball some what sensibly for last 3 balls.
    Life lesson 1: It is never lost untill you lose it. Even if defeat is staring at your face.
  2. Mushfiqur hits second four in last over and punches in air. Just 2 runs needed in 3 balls. So they have won he thinks. The Bangla dugout stands clapping. Wrong assumption.
    Life lesson 2: Never count your chickens untill they are hatched. Really hatched.
  3. Two runs needed in last ball. A billion people watching are trembling with nerves. Dhoni remains cool showing no emotion. In the melee of last ball when bilion minds have raced to confusion, he has sense to not throw the ball and run the batsman out. He knows he has won , yet he doesnt jump into air or punches his fist.
    Life lesson 3: Equanimity and dispassion is key to master one’s mind. No excessive joy in good time and no excessive sorrow in unfavorable times is how one should live.
  4. One freak hit and Bangladesh could have won. One run in last over and it could have been a tie. Anything was possible like a random chance at toss of dice.
    Life lesson 4: There is an overall seeming randomness in life. In end you lose some and you win some by an unknown roll of dice.

What the Degree Holder Says

The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”

The graduate with a Philosophy degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”


He’s the Stupid One

One day a man was walking in the street. He met another man who asked him what happened to his ears as both were covered with bandages.

He said “I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron, and so I burnt my ears”.

The man asked, “So what happened to your other ear?” He said, “That same stupid guy called again!


Bank Was Going Under

A blonde visited the bank to close her account because she was convinced the institution was going under.

When asked by a shocked manager why she thought so, she produced one of her checks, endorsed by the bank, “Insufficient funds.”