Archive for the ‘ Johnny ’ Category

Johhny Rocks…

Obama: Do you know Swimming?
Johnny: No
Obama:Dog is better than you,it Swims.
Johnny:Do you know Swimming?
Obama:Yes
Johnny:Then,Whats the difference between you and Dog?
Obama shocks… Johnny Rocks!!

Present Generation Johnny

Johnny Johnny … Yes Papa!
Job in Company… Yes Papa!
Lot of Tension… Yes Papa!
Too Much work…  Yes Papa!
Family Life…  No Papa!
BP Sugar…     High Papa!
Yearly Bonus… Joke Papa!
Annual Pay …  Low Papa!
Personal Life… Lost Papa!
Promotion Incentive… Ha! Ha! Ha!

Little Johnny .. Rocks…

One day little Johny says to his father:

I want to get married.

Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?
Johny: Yes , Grandma
Father: What? There is a problem now, you want to marry my Mother?
Johny: Why not? You married my mother

……………..

Little Johnny: Can I go to the toilet?

Teacher: Johhny, MAY I go to the toilet?

Little Johnny: But I asked first!

……………..

Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. “We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota.”
The teacher asked, “Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?”
Little Johnny said, “Actually, we went to Ohio.”

……………..

“Johnny, did your Mother help you with your homework last night?” the teacher asked.

“No, she did it all,” Little Johnny replied.

……………..

“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?”

Little Johnny’s father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.”

“That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny “At least you could try, right?”

……………..

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Little Johnny: One dollar.

Teacher(sadly): You don’t know your arithmetic.

Little Johnny (sadly): You don’t know my father

……………..

Teacher: “Hello boys, Remember!!! Nothing is impossible.”

Little Johnny: “OK sir, could you please squeeze out all the toothpaste and put back it into the tube again.”

IF I were a Millionaire

Teacher – Take a pencil and paper and write an essay with the title “If I were a Millionaire.”

Everyone but Johnny, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.

“What’s the matter,” the teacher asked. “Why don’t you being?”

I’m waiting for my secretary, he replied.

Line at the Heaven’s Gates

A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven’s Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him:  Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?
The guy replies: I am Johnny J., taxi driver from New York !

God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Johnny J.:   Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .
Now it is the priest’s turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope’s Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years.

God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

‘Just a minute,’ says the agonized Priest. ‘How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who’s spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?’
‘Results my friend, results,’  shrugs God.

‘While you preached, people SLEPT;  but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED!!!