Boss:Â Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a food at the other!
Classic:Â Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Criminal: A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work and where divorce comes before marriage.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Doctor: A person who kills your ill by pills and kills you by bills.
Ecstasy:Â A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Etc.:Â A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either.”
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her mater.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal!. and a person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway “SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.
Philosopher:Â A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
School: A place where papa pays and Son plays.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power.
Yawn:Â The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
