Archive for the ‘ Kids ’ Category

Smart Student

A female teacher,was having a problem with a boy in her class of 3rd grade.

The boy said ‘M’am, I should b in 4th grade, I’m smarter than my sis & she’s in the 4th grade’.

The M’am {Teacher} had heard enough of his complains & took the boy 2 the Principal’s office.

She explained everything 2 the Principal who decided 2 test the boy with some questions that a 4th grade should know.

Principal: What’s 3+3?
Boy: 6
Principal: 6+6?
Boy: 12   & so on..

The Principal asked the boy many questions & the boy got them right.
The Principal then asked M’am 2 send the boy  2  4th grade.

M’am decided 2 ask some more questions & the Principal agreed.

M’am: What does a cow have 4 of, that ‘ve only 2 of?

Boy: Legs

M’am: What’s in ur pants that u have but I dont have?

Boy: Pockets

M’am: What starts wit a C & ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut

M’am: What goes in hard & pink then comes out soft & sticky?

The principal’s eyes open really wide,but b4 he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge.

Boy: Bubble Gum

M’am: U stick ur poles inside me. U tie me down 2 get me up, I get wet b4 u do. What am I?

Boy: Tent

The principal was looking restless

M’am: A finger goes in me. U fiddle with me when u’re bored. The best man always has me isn’t what am I?

Boy: Wedding Ring

It’s Time to go to School

One early morning, a lady went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”
Son: “But why Mom? I don’t want to go.”
Mom: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
Son: “Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”
Mom: “Oh, that’s no reason to not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
Son: “Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
Mom: “Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!”

Little Johnny .. Rocks…

One day little Johny says to his father:

I want to get married.

Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?
Johny: Yes , Grandma
Father: What? There is a problem now, you want to marry my Mother?
Johny: Why not? You married my mother

……………..

Little Johnny: Can I go to the toilet?

Teacher: Johhny, MAY I go to the toilet?

Little Johnny: But I asked first!

……………..

Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. “We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota.”
The teacher asked, “Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?”
Little Johnny said, “Actually, we went to Ohio.”

……………..

“Johnny, did your Mother help you with your homework last night?” the teacher asked.

“No, she did it all,” Little Johnny replied.

……………..

“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?”

Little Johnny’s father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.”

“That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny “At least you could try, right?”

……………..

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Little Johnny: One dollar.

Teacher(sadly): You don’t know your arithmetic.

Little Johnny (sadly): You don’t know my father

……………..

Teacher: “Hello boys, Remember!!! Nothing is impossible.”

Little Johnny: “OK sir, could you please squeeze out all the toothpaste and put back it into the tube again.”

Business is business

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, “I’ll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most respected man, whom people consider God, who ever lived.”

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St. Patrick.” The teacher said, “Sorry Alan, that’s not correct.”

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St. Andrew.” The teacher replied, “I’m sorry, Hamish, that’s not right either.

Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, “It was Jesus Christ.” The teacher said, “That’s absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I’ll give you the $20.”

As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, “You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ.” Jayant replied, “Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!”

Appreciation

Son(1): Mom, my teacher gave me a star on my homework.
Mom: Very good Son(1)
Mom: What about you Son(2)
Son(2): Well, mom teacher ran out of stars so he gave me a moon (0).