Archive for the ‘ Doctor/Patient ’ Category

Outdoor Man

During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day this way:

“Well, yesterday morning, I took a five hour walk about 7km through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes, eyes and hair. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few ‘leaks’ behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank three beers”

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
“You must be one hell of an outdoors man!”
“No,” I replied, “I’m just a Shitty Golfer”.

The Magic Of Doctor’s Handwriting…!!

The patient went to his doctor for a checkup, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing

Every morning for two years, he showed it to the conductor as a railroad pass.

Twice, it got him into the movies, once into the baseball park, and once into the symphony.

He got a raise at work by showing it as a note from the boss.

One day, he mislaid it. His daughter picked it up, played it on the piano, and won a scholarship to a conservatory of music 😛 😀

Bad News

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That’s terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What’s the very bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Outdoor man

During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day this way:

“Well, yesterday morning, I took a five hour walk about 7km through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes, eyes and hair. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few ‘leaks’ behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank three beers”

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one hell of an outdoors man!”

“No,” I replied, “I’m just a golfer”.

Hindi Film Songs & Their Medical Interpretations

Jiya Jale jaan jale, Raat bhar dhuan chale FEVER
Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi HEART ATTACK
Juda hoke bhi tu mujhme kanhi baaki hai CONSTIPATION
Bidi jalayile jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag hai ACIDITY
Tujhme rab dikhta hai yaara main kya karoon CATARACT
Tujhe yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna ALZHEIMER
Mann dole mera tann dole VERTIGO
Tip tip barsa paani, paani ne aag lagayee BURNING SENSATION WHILE URINATING
Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh raha hai HIGH BP
Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen per nahin padte mere CORN ON FEET
Haay re haay Neend nahin aaye INSOMNIA