Archive for the ‘ Americans ’ Category

I’d be an American

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.

Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception.

A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

“Because I am not an American.” replied Gita.

“Then”, asks the teacher, “What are you?”

“I’m a proud Indian,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Gita

Why she is an Indian.

“Well”, my mom and dad are Indians, “so I’m an Indian too.”

The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason”, she says loudly “if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?”

A pause, and a smile.

“Then” says Gita, “I’d be an American.”

Insect in Beer Mug

An insect falls into a mug of beer…

Reactions:

Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks out

American: Takes the insect out and drinks the beer

Chinese: Eats the insect and throws the beer away

Japanese: Drinks the beer with insect as it is coming free

Indian: Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer… INTELLIGENT INDIANS

Family Problems

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar & drinking Shot after Shot.

The Indian man said to the American, ‘You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven’t even met once.’ We call this arranged marriage. I don’t want to marry a woman whom I don’t love. I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.’

The American said, talking about love marriages, I’ll tell you my story.   I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father’s father-in-law.

Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son.   My son is my father’s brother and so he is my uncle.

Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father’s son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson. And you say you have family problems.

The Indian fainted.

This Is Women Brain

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious.

When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president’s secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, why was he so interested in talking to you. She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.

President Obama then said, “so if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant” , to which Michelle responded, “no, if I had married him, he would now be the President”

A parachute

Once, a Hindu, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had no parachutes with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives and jump out of their planes.

First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a parachute and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down.

Then the Hindu removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as a parachute and he also floated down gently.

Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant and jumped out. Unfortunately, they did not do well as a parachute and he began to fall rapidly from the plane to the ground.

He passed by the Hindu who said – ” May Bhagwan help you”.

Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said – “I see! You want a race! Let us see who is faster” Saying so, he let go of his turban.